monday meditation on the fruit of the spirit – self-control

A little kingdom I possess, where thoughts and feelings dwell; And very hard the task I find of governing it well.

Louisa May Alcott

Salut et bienvenue! It’s Monday again, a new week, a new beginning. Perfect for concentrating on self-control. The last of the fruits of the spirit, this is the most difficult fruit for me I will confess, especially when it comes to food and drink. I’m not sure why, I know I have the strength and the knowledge, maybe I’m just too stubborn? Maybe I just like being lost in my own little world? Hopefully I will learn something, and maybe you will too in this Monday meditation on the fruit of the spirit – self-control.

goals

Self-control is defined (by Oxford Languages) as the ability to control oneself, in particular one’s emotions and desires or the expression of them in one’s behavior, especially in difficult situations. It’s necessary for regulating behavior in order to achieve specific goals. Self-control is the ability to resolve conflicts between your short-term and long-term goals. The conflict comes when you have to choose between indulging now or waiting for a bigger reward later. Make sure your goal is clear, deciding what you want your life to look like is the first step. Make sure it is about achieving something instead of avoiding something. It takes planning and routine. Write it down, make it part of your routine, practicing the actions it takes to build your self-control daily.

temptation

“Effortful restraint, where you are fighting yourself — the benefits of that are overhyped.” – Kentaro Fujita, a psychologist at The Ohio State University. So maybe it’s not just about self-control but about getting rid of temptation as well. Don’t try to resist, try to avoid. Instead of wearing yourself out by constantly using up your willpower, remove the trigger, walk away from the situation. When temptation does come along, try to wait it out. Give yourself 10 minutes and see if it doesn’t go away. Also consider changing how you think of yourself, picture yourself as the kind of person who wouldn’t give in to temptation.

well-being

Self-control is important for your well-being. It’s necessary for healthy goals such as losing weight or getting rid of bad habits (“She drinks vodka in the evening and green tea in the morning.” -from the chapter Own Your Bad Habits in my favorite Parisian book 😜). It’s also necessary for maintaining healthy behavior. A self-control problem is an emotional problem, not a problem with logic. It comes back to mindfulness – see the feeling, emotion or craving and accept it, don’t punish yourself for it, let it go. Meditate. The very act of meditation is self-control and it will strengthen self control in other areas of your life. Start your day practicing self-control. Instead of pressing snooze, get up and do some yoga or meditate or journal! That will set the tone for the day. And remember to go with the flow. There will be ups and downs. Sometimes you’ll need that glass of wine, or that extra slice of pizza. Be kind to yourself, forgive yourself and know that no one is perfect.

So what I’ve learned from this Monday meditation on the fruit of the spirit – self-control is that it takes work and discipline, it doesn’t come easy. It all goes back to my very first post, my first monday meditation. The secret is to control what we think about, what we reflect on. Meditate on the good things and remember “For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.” – 2 Timothy 1:7. À bientôt!